A fear that I constantly seem to have, one that I have now, when it comes to writing, is clarity. I have many ideas running through my head and can never seem to figure out how to put them down in paper. I absolutely
hate writing papers because it takes me a day or two to get my thoughts together. And whenever I get my papers back, I am always afraid to look at the comments professors make because I expect things like "
This doesn't make sense" or "
It needs more details or explanations". I hate writing formal papers because they
need to make sense and they
need to be detailed and they require so much more explanations than I can actually explain! Makes sense? I've written a bunch of papers back in grade school and high school and my teachers seemed to like it or they really didn't care. My AP writing course, however, I barely made it out alive. My senior year in high school, my English teacher slaughtered our papers. Once I got to college, I hated writing. And when I say hate, I mean to say, I hate
formality and
structure. Writing I can do, when it comes to free writing and creativity. However, I won't be writing pretty poems or anything of that kind in the criminal justice field.
Another fear that I have is my grammar. English is not my first language. When speaking, I twist my words and mispronounce a lot of them and get constantly teased about it. So when I write, I am always afraid that I might be using the word wrong or that there is a better word for
that particular word. With Spanish being my first language, I always have to make sure that the word I'm trying to use means what it actually means and that I'm not mixing it up with anything in Spanish. For example, the Spanish word
soportar does not mean
support in English, even though they sound and look similar. So trying to use the word
soportar wouldn't make sense in English.
Writing is just scary for me because I never know how to word things and don't know how to explain things good enough for someone to understand. I always thought I made sense and was so confident on my writing until everything that I thought was right was noted as wrong.